How Not to Be a Dick

(To be sung in any key where the truth still sounds good.)

Verse 1:
When the world feels small and cruel,
And every fool’s a mirror,
Pause your tongue, recall the rule—
Kindness makes things clearer.

Chorus:
Don’t be a dick, it’s easy, you’ll see—
Hold doors for the weary, let others be free.
A moment of grace is a lifetime of peace,
And fools find no joy when their tempers increase.

Verse 2:
If someone trips, don’t mock the fall,
You’ll stumble soon, my friend.
The laughter kind should lift us all,
Not wound to prove you win.

Chorus (repeat)
Don’t be a dick, it’s simple and fair—
No soul grows taller by climbing despair.
The loudest ego is the smallest of men,
Be kind, then kind again.

Bridge:
The world’s a test of patience thin,
A crowded bus, a storm within.
So breathe, don’t bite, and keep your grin—
That’s where decency begins.

Final refrain:
Don’t be a dick, sing it proud and plain—
The wise plant peace and harvest no pain.
If common sense be holy writ,
Then love is law, and that’s the bit.

Audio versions

All versions are the same hymn in different styles.